Questions Only between Chad Pennington and Eric Mangini

Chad: Hey Coach, can I start on Sunday?

Mangini: Can you throw the ball more than 20 yards?

Chad: Why would I need to throw the ball more than 20 yards?

Mangini: Chad, do you realize how many people are in the Facebook Group Kellen Clemens must replace Chad Pennington NOW!?

Chad: What's a Facebook?

Mangini: Forget it benchwarmer, do you think you can go a game without getting sacked?

Chad: Can't you just blame the Offensive Line for that?

Mangini: Can't you just suck my dick?

Chad: If I do will you let me start?

Mangini: Holy shit you're serious, do you realize you have less than half the yards of Brett Favre?

Chad: That guy still plays?

Mangini: Well somehow you have less interceptions than Peyton Maning, did you know that?

Chad: I promise I can catch up! Can you just give me another chance?

Mangini: Maybe, can you hit Coles on a deep post?

Chad: Can I use the NERF Vortex Howler?

Mangini: So you can throw perfect spirals every time like John Elway!?

Chad: Yeah Coach! Wouldn't that be fun?

Mangini: No Cocksmoker, that would be a waste of my goddamn time. Don't you got some season-ending injury to suffer?

Chad: Nope I got lucky this year! So this means I'm in?

Mangini: Do I look like a bitch?

Chad: What?

Mangini: Do...I...look...like...a...bitch?

Chad: What?

Mangini: What country you from?

Chad: What?

Mangini: Do they speak English in What?

Chad: What?

Mangini: English Motherfucker do you speak it?

Chad: Coach that Sam Jackson impression is getting good, have you been practicing?

Mangini: Can you tell?

Chad: It sounds good, but before you go into Ezekiel 25:17, can you tell me if I'm starting?

Mangini: Will you stop asking me?

Chad: Yes, please I'll do anything just let me start!

Mangini: Uh-oh, that wasn't a question...

Chad: Oh Shit! I mean, uh, well, I was asking...

Mangini: Too late bitch-ass, you lose. Enjoy the bench. Clemens get over here! You're in shitface, don't fuck this up!

Chad: Tittyfuck

A Sample of Chad

::Phone rings::
Hello? Yeah, yeah... oh, I'm cleared to play Sunday? That's great, thanks doc! Well, I guess I'd better get over to practice, Coach Mangini likes his waffle fries served promptly at noon.

::Chad gets in his car, slams hand in the door:: Gosh darnit! It seems like I'm always getting hurt, but nothing is gonna stop me from playing Sunday, not even this broken finger. ::Little kid runs in front of car, Chad stops suddenly and knocks his teeth out on the steering wheel:: Nipple fuck! I just got those teeth replaced too... Forget it, Chadwick, there's no way you're sitting out this game with a couple of broken fingers and some missing teeth. You want those stupid fans to cheer when you don't show up? I didn't think so. Damn this traffic, I wanted to get there early and stick itching powder in Clemens' jock.

::Gets out of car, has foot run over by Mangini:: "Sorry, Chad! The dozen donut special ends at 12:30!!!"

It's ok, coach. ::Limps into trainer's office, where Joe Namath comes out of nowhere and rips Chad's throwing arm from it's socket. EXTREME!:: "Chad, I want to kiss you!"

Ah I guess I'm sitting out this week... who's up for orange mocha cappuccinos!?