Lights come on and the audience, high on the free crystal meth given out before the show, cheers wildly. Chris walks into the living room.
Birdman: Honey, your man is hoooooome. [audience goes nuts, while Chris does a line of coke off the radiator] Woooooooo, watch the Birdman SOAR! [Does the birdman dance, audience loves it]
Mrs. Andersen: Hey, baby, how my points did The Birdman score today?
Birdman: Uh... points. Right. [Chris has not told his wife about his suspension from the NBA. When he tells her he has a game, he's really at Chuck E. Cheese tormenting children and sniffing glue all day] It was good, baby. I had this awesome dunk over Yao Ming.
Mrs. Andersen: But my sister was just telling me how some large Chinese man was out for the season. Did she mean Yao? How can you dunk over a guy who's not playing?
Birdman: Uh... [Chris takes a dish rag, pours ether on it, and makes his wife unconscious. He then proceeds to eat Oreos and hump her leg]
[Chris' son walks into the room, audience gives a big "Awwwwww!"]
Birdman: Birdman Junior, what's up budddddddy?
Birdman Jr.: Dad, my name is John. Do you remember? Forget it. Did you knock mom out with ether againi?
Birdman: I wouldn't worry about it son, those mescaline pellets I put in your chocolate pudding this afternoon should be kicking in soon.
[Big gasp from the audience]
Birdman Jr.: What are you -- WOOOO HOOOO!
Birdman: That's my boy! [Audiences laughs uproariously]
[Join us next week when we see how Chris' first week back in the NBA goes! Also: Chris goes to John's parent teacher conference at the local elementary school]
1 comment:
hey i have had the pleasure of meeting the birdman in person
i assure u he is ready to start over and show jerks like you he still has it in the nba just wait and see buddy
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