Saturday, June 30, 2007

Isiah Thomas's To-Do List


We here on Long Island have suffered through the misery that is Isiah Thomas for several years now. I feel like we've been through a lot together, from the Marbury trade to the Jerome James signing. This, however, is the year that everything changes. Isiah Thomas is ready to get OUT there, man, and boy-o does he have a plan.

-Trade $1.00 for 75c
-Trade an XBox 360 for an XBox.
-Give the previously mentioned Jerome James a contract extension, it just might motivate him to get in shape.
-Sign that Johan Santana fella, he really seems to know what he's doing out there. Oh, let's also trade for Todd Bertuzzi, we really need an enforcer.
-Paint the game floor green in order to confuse opponents.
-Make the baskets 11-feet high.
-Try to get that Yao Ming guy from Milwaukee. Or is it Wang Zhi Zhi? Yi?
-Hire Rickey Ledee as a motivational speaker.
-Play to win the game!
-Buy Eddy Curry a dictionary, tell him to look up "defense" and "rebound."
-Convert David Lee to point guard.

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