Monday, May 7, 2007

Sportscentury: The Juggernaut












This particular episode started when our heroes were discussing a new Mario video:

Johnny Ish: Man that was some good stuff, but it's no Juggernaut

Buster Douglas: Well the thing is, Juggy was Juggy, it could never really be Juggy in the way Spongebob was almost like Juggy.

JI: I'm always hearing "Oh, he's gonna be the next Juggy," or "It's The Juggernaut, jr." but these young folk just don't seem to get that, even if they have the talent, there really will never be another Juggy.

BD: I really feel like he changed the way the game will be played forever.

JI: I agree, he just had such an unbridled enthusiasm to go out and play every day. You just don't see that from a lot of guys today. I mean, he knew how to play the game the right way. Do you remember his catch phrase about going out and playing every day?

BD: I sure do! "I been waitin' for this shit all my motherfuckin' life!" Now, I mean, I haven't seen dedication like that since Cal Ripken, jr.

JI: Critics like to say that he was just another Welterweight Champion of the World, but I don't think that's a fair point.

BD: I konw bro, the thing about Juggy was, he had shit FALLIN' down on him while he was defending his title. You think Jack Dempsey could have done that? UNLIKELY.

JI: People also tend to forget the era in which he played the game. I mean, he was playing back when Beast had chest hair dandruff!

BD: Now, to be fair, he did have some off the field issues. I mean, there was that one binge night where he broke Wilt Chamberlain's 10,000 lady record in a mere thirty minutes.

JI: He had the post moves of Bill Walton, we all know this. But I think his most outstanding attribute was his incredible court vision; he could often be seen practicing by staring off into the sea with his motherfuckin' pimp cane.

BD: Well, Johnny, along with those quick hands came a quick wit. As he would often point out, once his rivals had made it known they wanted their money back, that he had custom made their suits. And it was true!

JI: I think Juggy really spoke volumes when he encouraged kids to wear helmets starting in the fourth grade. I mean, it really made the already hated Charles even more loathed for his "I am not a role model" stance.

BD: Will someone eventually catch up in terms of MVPs and titles? I say yes. But noone, I say noone, will ever change the game the way Juggy did.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

oooo juggernaut babyyyy

Kristin

Anonymous said...

juggernaut<33333

<3, kristen!

Anonymous said...

Nobody had my post moves

Anonymous said...

Nobody had my bedpost moves