Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Stu Loosawitz, ESPN Classic Programmer



*sob sob sob* Aww man, I wish I was still working with all those guys on SportsCenter. I invented the 28/58 update! Goddamn that Scot Van Pelt for telling the boss I didn't like 'Who's Now.' Nobody liked that shit! That bald prickface is just mad he never gets to co-anchor with that smoking Michelle Bonner.

Now I'm here at this stupid ESPN Classic. Who came up with this skidmark of a station anyway? "hey hey, um, people who want to watch sports on tv, wouldn't want to watch the live events on ESPN, ESPN2, ABC, CBS, FOX, SNY, YES, or the one with the hockey, no I bet they would rather watch some junk from thirty years ago!" Yeah, great idea there Mangenius.

But I'll get them back! Oh yes, sweet revenge. I'll make sure that so few people watch this station, they'll have to shut it down. Then it's back to the Bristol for Big Stu! Hmm, so if I'm gonna sabotage this station, it'll take some real junky programming. I'm talking terrible excuses for sports, that would only be watched by the participants themeselves. Let's see what I got cooked up for tonight! Mwahhahaha!

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