In Case You Missed It:

The NHL Has Started!

"This is SPARTA!"

No seriously, and they played like 15 games...

The Pacific Conference is Really Tight
First and Fifth is separated by only three points. Yes, points, I know I know just deal with it.

The Redwings are Really Good
Well of course, this is Dr. Cox's team so we all knew they'd bitch everyone around, and call the Blackhawks "Betty."

Swedish Guy with Beard is Points Leader
Naturally, some dude named Henrik is the scoring leader. Crosby is up there and will probably pass him soon enough. Actually, I have no fucking idea, but I heard of this Crosby kid. Possibly only because his name looks like Cosby.

Martin Brodeur is Old
Dude can't hack it no more. He's a legend in the game, but he's 35, and has a 2.83 goals agains average (Again, I don't know what that means but he's ranked 30th in the NHL). Fortunately, you are still allowed to call yourself MarTAN when blocking your friend from grabbing your shit.

Alright, that's enough. There's all you need to no about Hockey. If you really have a craving for the puck, just watch D2: The Might Ducks on Encore. Check back in 8 months when this long-ass season is finally over, and we'll tell you why nobody watched the Stanley Cup.


"Fuck You Barry Melrose! Back to NFL News!"