Isiah Thomas Manages Breakfast

Isiah: Well alright then, seems to be breakfast time and boy am I famished.

Denny's Waitress: Good morning Mr. Thomas, can I start you off with something to drink?

Isiah: Let's see, it would make sense to start off with a cup of coffee, and it would be an equally respectable decision to order a glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice... But you know what, I think I'm gonna take a risk and order a shot of tequila.

Waitress: Wait, what? You want a shot of tequila with your breakfast? Are you sure?

Isiah: I know it may looks strange, but  I have faith in it.

Waitress: Whatever, so, um, would you like that with or without the worm?

Isiah: Worm please.  Thank you kindly.

Waitress: I'll be right back with your order then.

While the waitress is fixing his drink, Isiah attempts to unfold his napkin on to his lap, only to mistake the table jukebox for his lap, making something of a curtain over the CD selector.

Waitress: Okay sir here is your shot, along with your salt and lime.  Are you ready to order your meal?

Isiah: I think so, I'm just having some trouble.  What would you recommend?

Waitress: Well, the French Toast Grand Slam is always a favorite, and the Fruit Salad is a yummy and healthy option.

Isiah: Hmm, each has their strong points, and I  know my nutritionist, wife, children, and probably everyone else in the world would want me to choose the healthy Fruit plate... but I saw something in the menu about Nachos covered in beef and cheese, how about that?

Waitress: Nachos Nuevos?! That really has no place here.  I mean rarely does it even come out good, and even when it does you only regret your decision later.  I honestly can't imagine this working out in your favor.

Isiah: Oh well that's only because you aren't a Coach and GM of an NBA team.  These decisions just come easy to me.

Waitress: I can't imagine what is going on in your head.  Well you get a side with your breakfast.  I would highly recommend something healthy, maybe some toast, eggs or even a grapefruit possibly?

Isiah: It may seem like good side order is the only thing that can save this breakfast, and the home fries are available... Oh you have Tiramisu!  I love Tiramisu!  My I would love to have me some of that with my meal.

Waitress: What? That's not even a side dish, that's a dessert!  Why are you focused on dessert, when you really ought to get your breakfast together first?  I give up.  Anything else you want?

Isiah: I want some of the sweet ass of yours honey.

Waitress: Of course, your sexual harassment lawsuit is coming right up.