Hey guys it's Kobe. Due to my recent dick behavior, many of my admirers have asked me how it is that I wake up every day and find new ways to be an asshole. Well in response I've created a short list on how to be a better asshole on a day to day basis.
1. Demand to be traded from a team that chose you over a 9-time champion coach and a top-5 all time center.
2. Put battery acid in a child's birthday cake.
3. Demand to be traded from a team that stood by you as you underwent a rape trial.
4. Steal Doyle Brunson's crutch
5. Call Rudy Tomjanovich in a Kermit Washington voice asking to get together.
6. Scream at Curtis Pride because he won't pay attention to your voice.
7. Write an article about Darin Erstad's grittyness factor.
8. Tell an 8 year old orphan that Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, and Shrek all died.
These are things anyone can do to become a better asshole before noon on a Tuesday. If people don't hate you by dinner, then you just haven't done your job.
...Kobe!
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1 comment:
baby, it's all in a day's work.
...kobe!
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