The Old Switch-a-Roo

NASCAR

Now I would never want to a do a post praising the Sport of Kings Rednecks, but this is an awesome story.

Apparently this guy Denny Hamlin (wow what a southerner, this guy is named after Denny's), is a driver. But because he was busy beating his wife or something, I don't know what these rednecks do, he was late, and missed the start. Now, before I go farther, how hard is your job as a NASCAR driver. All you do is turn left, that's it, no need for a tomtom here. This idiot just could not be there for the green flag.

So, his team decides to throw in some asshole named Aric Almirola instead (again, look at this guys first name, yes it's spelled right, I guess its how they pronounce Eric down there in Dixieland).

Then, when our man Denny shows up via is helicopter, he waits for his teammate to make a pit stop, and kicks his ass out of the car. I imagine it to be like in Grand Theft Auto, you know just open the door and hop in, no argument whatsoever. So now Denny is driving, and he wins the fucking race. That's right, checkered flag for Mr. Tardy.

Now I don't know how this is allowed, and apparently it's the first time in NASCAR history (haha there's a history of NASCAR). But I fully encourage this to take place more. And not only should they change drivers, but vehicles as well. One lap in the Stock Car, one in a Motorcyle, one in a monster truck, one on a razor scooter, one just in Heely's, and for one lap you gotta moonwalk the track. Now strategy would really come into play here when deciding which lap to use what, because you do not want to be the one moonwalking in front of an angry Tony Stewart in a monster truck. Maybe, just maybe, if NASCAR does all this stuff, I'll watch some races. But only during commercials of the real sports on ESPN Classic. Like Women's Nine-ball.