Yeah, Derek Anderson grunts while he gets his swell on at the gym, so what?
Derek Anderson: Satan, why didn't God make me a better quarterback?
Satan: Because he hates you and your whore mother!
DA: Oh... ok. So is the dealio sounding good to you?
Satan: Are we talking about the deal where Eli Manning massages my feet?
DA: No, dude, I'm talking about the one where I play really good for one game.
Satan: Right, right... so you give me your soul and I give you two touchdowns and 210 yards passing.
DA: Fuck no, Satan! My soul is worth way more than that!
Satan: Jesus Christ, how about... 20/33 for 260 yards and 3 touchdowns?
DA: I can see we're not getting anywhere here. In addition to my soul, I'll throw in five years of my wife's soul.
Satan: Way to fuckin' sweeten the deal! 20/33, 328 yards, 5 touchdowns it is. But there is one thing.
DA: What's that?
Satan: You're going to have to throw one interception, I'm not a miracle worker.
DA: Fine! Boy, hell is gonna be so great! I get to see JFK, and Jesus, and the guy who played Shooter McGavin in Happy Gilmore and--
Satan: Derek, you nimrod, that's heaven. Hell is the bad one.
DA: What? FUCK! I knew I should have done some research. Can we change that whole arrangement?
Satan: Too late, see you in hell buddy!
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