Regarding ESPN's Coverage of the WSOP

If you're one of our 3 regular readers, you've probably noticed by now our love for all things poker related; I admit that I'm a complete sucker for the Phil Laak grey sweatshirt.

The problem is ESPN insisting on showing who won the Main Event THREE MONTHS before anyone can see it on television. If it were on a long tape delay for CBS or TNT, I could see them announcing the winner... constantly. But if they're going to air it themselves, how does it make sense to tell everyone the ending before they can even see the beginning? Maybe most people don't mind finding out, but I absolutely can't stand knowing.

Because I was a victim of this last year, I decided not to watch any ESPN channels for the week prior to and following the Final Table (it was surprisingly easy, ESPN has really slipped) and I haven't found out yet. I'd like to signal a big "fuck you" to ESPN for making me hate sports a little more each time I watch the network.

WSOP Player Profile: Phil Hellmuth

In honor of the 2007 World Series of Poker debuting on ESPN last night, we'd like to take some time over the course of the next few months to see who's a pro and who can't even SPELL poker.

Today's player? Phil Hellmuth, the Poker Brat.




Strengths: -Incredible ability to read other players.
-Berating fellow "players" until they cry or fold.

Weaknesses: -Being a crybaby bitch.
-9 bracelets compensate for microscopic penis

Special Abilities: He can dodge BULLETS, baby!

Super Effective Against: Rock, Steel, newbie players.

No Effect On: Ghost, Normal, Annie Duke

Quotables: "I guess if there weren't any luck involved I'd win every hand."
"You see that honey!? I was supposed to go broke on that hand! But they forgot, I can dodge BULLETS, baby."
"I can't believe this is the World Series of Poker... some of the worst players in the world here. These guys can't even spell poker.

Note: He sort of looks like my Uncle Edddddddddd.