Oh please, somebody stop these Aluminum Bats!
Metal Bats are the Devil!
When I signed little Trevor up for Little League, I knew he would be outdoors for extended periods of time, but nobody told me they would be using deadly weapons! The grass is bad enough for his allergies, now I have to worry about somebody hitting a ball at him too hard! Why are these children hitting so much! Their parents should know better. I've done my part, Trevor's only 11 and weighs 300 pounds. Not only that, he couldn't hit a minivan with a surfboard.
But these other kids are athletes! Trevor plays his baseball 2k game all day, and can't hit half as good as these kids. If it wasn't for the catcher's mask he wheres out there in left field, he could have lost an eyeball.
Okay, I know the real reason this sport is so dangerous for my Trevy-Wevy. It's those bats! If only they weren't so....so....aluminum! Of course, wooden bats would make it so much safer. The kids would either strike out, or hit it right into Trevor's double-padded glove. Anybody who approves of metal bats doesn't care about children and should be kicked out of the PTA.
Oh thank God for me. How smart am I? This is the best idea since buying from Costco. Join LaMAA! Lame Mothers Against Aluminum!
