-Sammy Sosa hits 600 home runs, soul immediately repossessed by Satan as per their contract.
-If Jean-Sebastien Giguere signs a 4-year, $24 million dollar contract and no one cares, does he still get the money?
-Chinese draft prospect Yi Jianlian's stock drops dramatically following his inability to play basketball.
-Fantastic Four commercials during NBA Finals fail to inspire Cavaliers to play four men at a time in order to beat the Spurs.
-Bill Simmons' tears over loss of draft lottery beginning to flood the Manhattan Island.
-Jason Giambi's injection of (Apple) juice fails to make him anything more than delicious.
-Kevin Garnett turns agent to stone with steely gaze for even suggesting a trade to the Celtics.
-Mike Brown still trying to figure out how to score on those darned Spurs.
I thought that agreement was on the DL??
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