Thursday, March 13, 2008

If Brett Favre was caught in a Prostitution Ring...


"Brett Favre secretly sleeps with prostitutes the way they're supposed to be secretly slept with. I mean, he made using a high-class call-girl service fun again."
-Wright Thompson, ESPN

"Now, now, now here's a guy, who when he's out on the road away from his family, and craves the loving embrace of a woman, he calls a hooker! Here take a look at this: He waits in his hotel room over here, then he calls up Emperors Club VIP like this, and BOOM! He's got himself a lovely $1,000 an hour girl ready to go!"
-John Madden, ABC

"...Aaand here comes Brett Favre, Bumping, Pumping, and Humping his away across the bed with Kristen 'Love actually cost a thing' Dupre!"
-Chris Berman, ESPN

"It was a cold December night, when Brett Favre wandered down an alley and met his first prostitute. It was this fateful meeting that would change not only his life, but the entire red-light district forever. Though his first meeting was full of fumbles and costly mistakes, it set the stage for what would become the one of the greatest careers as a John in history."
-NFL Films Guy

"Now wait a second people, Brett Favre is obviously a Hall of Fame strumpet-shagger, but he really hasn't delivered in the second half of the year. Sure he's been in the game long enough to rack up quite a list of hits, but his performance in the last decade have been disappointing. Yes, in 2007 he did it all with the youngest crew in the business, but his final moment was an unthinkable mistake. Favre is done, it's about time we give Aaron Rogers the chance he's been waiting for."
-Sal Paolantonio, ESPN

"Pro---stitution. I love it, clones. Brett Favre has accomplished more in his career, and worked more working girls than anyone else in the business. Hey Brett Favre, high-five. Hey Brett Favre, nice to see you're spending that NFL money wisely. You know what, I don't care what people think. You know what, I don't care that it's illegal in most states. Brett Favre is America. Brett Favre people, Brett Favre. Let's go to the phones."
-Jim Rome


"My Man!"
-Eliot Spitzer

3 comments:

Johnny Ishkabibble said...

this is probably your best post. fucking awesome.

Sean said...

the rome comment was so good i tried to change the channel on my laptop.

Anonymous said...

Brett Farve;s grandmother was a Madame at Bennie French's Tavern, a Brothel, in Pass Christian, Ms.